Southern Masters

After the trek to Blackpool is was a shorter journey for the Northants crew down to Crawley for the Southern Masters. Silky up first against Steve Basher Bertie and despite some close legs and some blocked resistance, Silk was downed in 4. Next up a tremendous struggle against the consistent pimpler Michael Wilkins which this time went to Steve 3-1, but more woe Was to follow as once again a consistent player that Steve had to hit through proved his undoing as he went down to Cataclysmic Kosmowsky and promptly set off for an afternoon in Brighton (possibly to meet his friend Alan?).

 

Trott up against Indian Test player Tony Roy Dias, former England winger John Barnes and even more controversial Tony “The Cincinnati Kid” Morris. Now Tony had turned up in fancy dress replete with bright yellow shirt,  a silly afro wig and a pair of Barbra Streisand glassed from the seventies.  In Fact most of Tony’s game was stuck in the seventies, including his footwork (I know who am I to talk) and this resulted in a straight game loss and back To the drawing board.  John Barnes did display some dribbling (but not with his feet) and Dias was the worthy runner up in a group lacking the X factor despite The star names.  Welly was through comfortably against fellow coaching legend Barry Turner  but Big TC succumbed to Griffin (understandably) but also to Roger Harris and Geoff Grange.   There were some good matches going on with Adbul Wuraola’s dislike of pimples being severely tested by the quiet and mild Paul Beck, but the day seemed to be dragging on with the doubles not starting until 4pm.   Now Trott has always been fortunate with partner wanted (Jan Johns, Sue Collier) and this time in the men’s he drew double England champ and current no 3 Keith Williams (who had apparently been let down as current partner Wine Percival was combing his hair).  Bertie/Dixon were first up and this was tight for a while before the new combo gelled quite well and came through 3-1 against a good pair. A not so good pair was waiting next as BIG TC proudly told me he had negotiated the first round safely in partnership with Pete Bradley. Now if you saw Pete on the dance floor later (I could just see at that stage) you would have thought his footwork was limited but enthusiastic, however it needed more than that to get round TC and a 3-0 loss resulted. Next up were English Champs Walsh and Wuraola and by the ear-ache Jimmy was receiving (again) it was clear we were on top and came through quite comfortably 3-0. Regulars Bartram and Harris were facing top seeds Venner and Trumpauskas in the other semi and making a nuisance of themselves by taking them to a close 4th end before succumbing, and the final was heading the same way as Venner/Trump took the first 2 legs 5 and 7. The third was tighter, and the tighter it got the more Trump missed his big forehand including 2 at 9-9 to let the leg slip to Trott/Williams.  The 4th was going the way of Trott/Williams and they held a 9-5 lead before a miss-hit hit the top of Trott’s bat and flew the to the opposition’s end to take the side or edge.  Upstanding citizen Smoking Jo Kennedy called the ball down and Venner and Trump came through 11-9 in an entertaining and quite high quality (according to those who viewed it) match (it even woke Paul Beck up at one stage, which was a mistake as he talks slightly less when Asleep!).

 

Well Saturday evening and Silk couldn’t find the hotel , Trott was dealing in cricket bats, Heaps dealing in real ale, Steve Green was fighting his chocolate urges and Kenny Jackson was discussing wigs with Les Eadie (I agree Ken , Les’s is the worst I’ve seen).   Post dinner and Steve Green fell asleep  whilst the discussion turned to England Juniors circa 1955 (Les’s generation apparently) whilst Heaps and Susie Hughes discussed writing styles from the 70’s (the same era that Nick’s evening ensemble came from). We were tragically informed that the hotel had run out of beer (a first for everyone I believe) and off we went for a 4am bedtime.  

 

With stinging eyes I arrived at the venue at 8.45 and had a knock with Didier (who managed to fall out with the net, table and lighting during the knock).  First up was Stephan Bonnefous and because he was unusually quiet as a mouse I assumed I was winning (which when I opened my eyes I was). Next was a lot tougher as Lee Middleton had destroyed the talented Simon Philipz 3-0 and took the first end vocally 16-14.  He next 2 went to Trott 6 and 5 but Lee hit back to take the 4th and plenty of drink was required at the changeover.  Trott started well and Lee was a bit flustered and hardly said a word in the 5th.  At 10-2 Trott was tempted to shout “Good Boy, Yes, C’mon” or more appropriately Thank F@@K but was too knackered.  This set up a quarter with another vocal player (what a draw!) in Nigel “C’mon Eck” Eckersley who had destroyed Trott 4, 18 and 4 at Norwich in 2008.  Well this was much closer with the match poised at 1-1 and Trott leading 5-0 and then 6-1, coach Welsman was satisfied and it was in the bag.  Well not quite as the vocals increased and Eck was back at 6-6 and took it deuce.  Game 4 was similar and with Trott serving at 9-10 Eck took the risk of a run around forehand which despite being blocked enabled a net touching follow-up that took the match.  Personally I have no problem with Eck, he graciously had a chat afterwards and has always been friendly and approachable, but like most people wants to win on the table.  I think people either can or can’t cope with his on court repartee.

 

Steve Bertie continued his group form with wins over John Fuller, Dave Walrus Welsman and a fantastic 3-0 over Keith Williams to teach the quarters, but he succumbed in 3 to the Trump. 

 

Venner was showing some good form and after beating former (Barbados?) international David Williams he became the 2nd man to beat the Trump this year with a quality 3-1 win. He manages this by keeping it tight on service, blocking well and taking the ball early at the top of the bounce when given the opportunity.  Abdul had just gotten past the counter looping Jerome Jonah 3-2 to face Eck in the other semi and this went to 11-8 in the fifth as the decibels rose. Eck battled hard, looping on the forehand and retrieving or blocking on the backhand but the crucial points went to Abdul in the end.  The final was a bit of a non event, as Venner stormed through the first 2 and seemed a step ahead of his opponent.  Game 3 went to deuce but Venner was a deserved winner in his comeback tournament, the only trouble he had was losing in the knock-up at the start of the day.

 

Mixed next and Sue Collier not happy at losing the ladies singles.  Ironically her conqueror and husband were the first mixed opponents and didn’t put up too much resistance. Next however was Eck and missus and they took an end before Sue saw the solution to the Eck pimples was to flat hit winners.  The semi was tougher still as the in-form Venner partnered National champ Sanja Clements but they failed to gain an end and another final loomed.  Meanwhile Chris Bartram and Jackie Williams were taking apart allcomers in the other half, Abdul and Sandra Rider had an epic battle against Di Pearce and John Payne but they were blown away in 3 by Bartram/Williams.  So the final was between 3 drinkers and Chris Bartram and in the first  it was Trott to Bartram and a 2 point cushion was maintained throughout.  Good start  and confidence was high that Trott could loop to Williams and cope with the Bartram loop, er no Chris looped everything off the bounce and Trott didn’t get a chance to loop and the same happened in leg 3 at Williams/Bartram took control for a 2-1 lead.  At the suggestion of Sandra Rider a slight change of tactics was called for, so Trott put on the skirt to mirror the Bartram/Williams partnership and the match was level 2-2.  Leg 5 was tight but at 3-5 down at ends Trott had 2 serves to Williams to level. A smash was missed and 6-4 became 8-4 and then 9-5.  Bartram to Trott and a topspin return is put off the end before a push is netted by Williams.  Trott to Williams at 6-10 and 2 serves are missed, so 10-8 with Williams to Collier.  Bartram is in and forces a lob from Trott which Williams misses for the match and a Collier loop levels the match at 10-10.  Right don’t throw it away , but Colliers serve is hit at light speed by Bartram (10-11) but Trott levels with a flick of the Bartram serve.  Despite a Trott serve, Bartram is in and Trott retrieves desperately for Collier to put away a loop. At match point the same rally is repeated with Collier again doing the honours  and the title is theirs (quite comfortable in the end?).   Another good match and knowing Chris he will be plotting revenge (we’ll discuss over drinks at LORDS).